Saturday, February 20, 2010

Be Still My Tango Heart

For there is much too much going on in my tango life.

What started as once a week lessons turned into lessons plus tango night Tuesday then tango night Tuesday, Thursday and even Friday and lessons in between days.

Tonight I said, the question is: which day do I not dance? And with that came the sudden realization that I had overcrowded my life again.

This jumping feet first into tango is so typical of me, that burst of enthusiasm and the intense concentration, which hopefully will not turn into a sudden waning of interest. Not this time, I can see.

There is much to learn. Balance. Attack. En ganche. Embellishments. Slow tango. Show tango. Much more to sweeten the already exotic mix that spices up the days and nights of this life I have danced into.

There are partners to tango with, and test, and tease. There are shoes to traipse the light fantastic in, and those babuchas and gauchos to showcase the boleos that are yet to be done.

There is a whole world yet to be explored, and yet that cloying sense of too much too soon demands a gentle break into the familiar serenity of quiet and aloneness.

Right now, that sense of being crowded and being too out there makes me want to curl up and just stay off the dance floor, away from that pulsating beat. Just because. The very private me is looking for the quiet that I have gotten so used to. The private me just wants to get back that space that is all mine. Just for now.

With all that I am learning and the limits I have breached, the voice inside of me says stop awhile, and let the music take you in again. Let the music seep back into your soul, so the dance and the moves and the lessons and the dancers become invigorating again, become inspiring again.

Be still my tango heart, rest awhile my battered feet. Breathe, let the spirit of this dance embrace you in your quiet time. So when morning comes, my tango heart will rise in joy again.

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