Pulling Back No More

In the studio this afternoon, as I again did the exercises to help me with my balance, another insight sparked my fuzzy tango brain.

During the deliberately slow exercise involving a series of movements---walk, rock, pivot, changing direction depending on my teacher's lead, I literally saw myself pulling back just a tiny bit before I gave in and followed. I saw it as a wariness to get out of my personal space and get closer, moving into the leader's personal space.

It happened several times. A very quick resistance, but a resistance nevertheless. A hesitation that translates into the loss of a few precious seconds and also one of the reasons for my balance problem.

I caught myself pulling back several times more. And told my teacher so. To which he agreed and reiterated his advice to attack, to go where his lead takes me, to take up the challenge and show him, the leader, that I had challenges of my own to give out too.

With the awareness of that troublesome instinctive action, I tried again, to attack, to go outside of my invisible defined space, and get closer, to let the playfulness of tango take over, as is necessary.

So I tried. Leaned forward, leaned into the leader's own space. And found myself less wobbly. Again, taking the cue from the leader, I stepped up, letting the right foot glide outside of my space, and then feeling the leg and the torso move into the space that had been offered. Without hesitation, no pulling back. Nice and easy, no rush.

The invitation to dance, to play, to frolic in the rhythm and the music was repeated over and over during the afternoon lesson. Each time the leader sent the impulses inviting me to explore the newfound confidence to get closer, to attack, to step up to the challenge, I danced forward, I accepted the invite, I took my place up close.

It felt good. I felt less unstable. I liked the confidence that was rising with every deliberate move, with every foray into the tango circle, as I call that space within the tango hold.

The more I danced right into the circle, the lighter I felt, the better I responded to the lead and the music. No more pulling back, one less stumbling block to an even more exhilarating tango life.